Wooden Spoon is my twenty-sixth book. This novella was written entirely during the 2025 Six Nations campaign and includes content that might not be suitable for some readers. It is available as a paperback and an e-book and can be found on Amazon and in all good book shops…
There’s Always Next Year
For Ianto Williams—and the whole of Wales—rugby isn’t just a game. It’s life or death.
But as Wales face the grim prospect of a Six Nations wooden spoon, Ianto finds himself battling more than just the opposition. Struggling to reclaim past glories in a world he barely recognises.
From the streets of Paris to the pubs of Cardiff, from pizza-fueled failures to stolen stashes of Viagra, Ianto stumbles through a comedy of misfires, mishaps, and humiliations.
As the losses pile up—on and off the pitch—he’s forced to face more than just the scoreboard. A raucous, bittersweet tale of rugby, camaraderie and the highs and lows of modern manhood.
Wooden Spoon is a hilarious and unflinching look at love, sport, and the desperate lengths one man will go to walk the fragile line between triumph and disaster.
This book can be purchased as a paperback direct from the publisher or as an e-book on Amazon kindle.
Sample:
Christmas, 2024
Just like turkeys, Ian ‘Ianto’ Williams was getting fucked for Christmas. He was lying on the floor in the back room of the rugby club, staring up at the artexed ceiling. The 70s glitter ball spun gently above him while his busty companion slowly gyrated her hips and forced herself down harder into his lap.
Although the door to the main bar downstairs was shut, they could both hear the cheering of the crowd as Roger ‘the Sump’ Evans dispatched another yard of ale, much to the delight of the players, both past and present, the committee and the bar staff. The only person not clapping and chanting in unison was Kate, the long-suffering cleaner, who was praying he wouldn’t chuck up again like he did last week.
The day had started well for Ianto. He’d noticed the flame-haired beauty standing on the touchline, across the pitch on the other side. That was about two minutes after kick-off on that same afternoon. The firsts were away, and so he and the boys had decided to watch the seconds instead. It made for a speedier sojourn to the beers when the final whistle was blown.
At half-time, he had sauntered around the field, stopping briefly to chat with the various lads he knew who were strung out along the edge of the pitch but never losing sight of the gorgeous creature leaning on the railings behind the twenty-two-metre flag.
‘Shwmae love, nice day for it. You with them lot are you?’ said Ianto, pointing to the opposition team.
‘Yes babe,’ said Kylie.
‘Hey, don’t like the look of your prop. Not the most healthy-looking chap is he?’ Ianto adjusted himself. ‘He’s sweating like a paedo at a christening.’
Kylie just smiled, fluttered her eyelashes and accidentally brushed her hand across Ianto’s jeans. He didn’t need telling twice. She was a cert, he quickly concluded.
‘It’s a bit Pearl Harbour love eh?’
‘Wha’?’
‘There’s definitely a nip in the air,’ smirked Ianto.
Kylie didn’t get it. She’d probably failed history, although Ianto was sure she’d be good at other subjects. He just had to find the right one.
‘So, you fancy popping to the club for a drink afterwards?’ he asked.
‘Yeah, sure. I have to meet my mam there anyway.’
Ianto continued in his assessment of the opposing team. ‘I think your outside half fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down luv.’
Like this sample? Read more here.
This book can be purchased as a paperback direct from the publisher or as an e-book on Amazon kindle.
Review:
A Very Funny Read with Depth and Honesty
This book touches on two key themes. First, it addresses the current state of Welsh rugby, highlighting the challenges facing the nation in the aftermath of the 2025 Six Nations Championship and also offers a potential solution to our problems. The author presents a well-thought-out way forward.
The second theme, which will resonate deeply with many of us, is men’s mental health. Too often, particularly in the traditionally macho world of sport, men are reluctant to express their emotions or seek help. This book does a commendable job of opening up that conversation.
The characters, while crude, sexist, and old-school in their attitudes, are not misogynistic. They don’t show any hatred towards women, nor are they violent or nasty. In fact, it’s the women who ultimately come out on top, while the men, the true weaker sex, falter. This dynamic adds an interesting layer to the story.
The lead character, Ianto, is complex. While his flaws are clear, there are enough redeeming qualities to make him more than just a typical uncouth boyo. His character development certainly adds depth to the book.
The language is unapologetically rugby-club banter, which certainly won’t appeal to everyone, especially those with more politically correct sensibilities. However, a more intellectual reader will look beyond the surface and recognize the core message—a strong, anti-establishment stance that champions the plight of the honest, hard-working man.
This novella is a brave endeavour, and the author somehow manages to strike a challenging balance with the tone and subject matter. Given the complexity of the themes, it’s impressive how well he pulls it all together.
My only minor criticism is that the book could have been longer. I was enjoying it so much. Doing so might have allowed for a deeper exploration of Ianto’s more empathetic side.
I highly recommend it to rugby fans and any men over forty. It’s hilarious! It might just be the wake-up call they need and could even save their lives.
Talk to someone, lads!
– G. Thomas
#Amazon Best Seller
During the first week of the book’s launch, I got to number seven position in the rugby category and the top ten in a few others. Hot on the heels of Danny Care, Rob Burrows and Johnny Sexton in a manner of speaking:
#7 in Rugby charts